The Eighty Sixth, Mar. 26, 2011

alone in a crowd
watching the faces
seeing glazed eyes
no lights on inside

faces passing by blur
each one like the rest
all vacant expressions
seemingly lost, adrift

smiles with no warmth
drooping at the ends
not really even there
sent to no one at all

they head off alone
replaced by another
looking just the same
the world continues

do they have a home
with the life and love
warmth and happiness
missing from the crowd?

I hope that is is so.

The Eighty Fifth, Mar. 25, 2011

foot taps on its own
knee keeps bouncing
can't sit still right now
excitement fills me

anticipation on the rise
need to make big plans
though still too soon
must make them NOW

adventure awaits me
something so very new
finding it hard to wait
feels like Christmas

bubbling enthusiasim
a giddy little boy
want it to be tomorrow
why do I have to wait?

it is finally setting in
the trip is taking place
really will be going
to a place out of my dreams

I wonder if they are ready....

The Eighty Fourth, Mar. 24, 2011

I am lost in the silence
that once was filled
with a voice of reason
now sadly gone away

no songs being sung
to lift the faltering soul
stalwartly leading on
through the darkness

no more happy laughter
of children playing
their peals floating out
giving to all a smile

no sounds at all today
there is only silence
my mind is empty
no voices call out

my inspiration falters
a new old occurrence
growing far too common
for 1/4 the way home

The Eighty Third, Mar. 23, 2011

Macbook on the charger
iPod on the charger
cell phone on the charger
smart pen on the charger

I love modern technology
making things easier
everything wireless now
simply recharge and go

now if only I had a charger too....

The Eighty Second, Mar. 22, 2011

The Next Step

With new discoveries
come new challenges
new paths unfolding
waiting to be followed

I stand in deep darkness
seeing nothing ahead
but feel many directions
lie opened before me

there is no certainty
of even where I stand
much less where to step
which road to follow

voices whisper to me
from beyond the dark
calling me to them
saying follow, follow

my foot lifts slightly
hovering over nothing
waiting for answers
that no one can give

the voices still call
but I cannot comply
they are not my voice
it is not their choice

how then do I decide
and where wil I step
what if I choose wrong
or must I choose again

a new apprehension
this darkness never fades
and always I will stand
foot poised over nothing

one more to set aside
another fear to pass
to overcome its hold
I simply have to step

with breath held
with eyes closed
with heart pounding
I step......

The Eighty First, Mar. 21, 2011

A Journey Begins

cold clenching fist within
anxiety rises unbidden
reaction to the situation
and I cannot put it aside

there is no justification
and no acceptable reason
for feeling physically ill
for me, it simply happens

a slow constant building
gnawing at me from inside
churning away in my stomach
I feel the coldness even now

it comes to me at night
when defenses are down
as sweet sleep soothes me
it torments my dreams

cold sweat on my brow
hands clench and release
I lie panting and gasping
nightmares dancing still

I wake still hearing the voices
taunting me from the dream
and fear they are right
I will always be a failure

I push myself to excel
to be the best at what I do
while procrastinating also
because I live with my fear

I live with paradoxical fear
that I will certainly fail
and the other, far greater
the fear that I will succeed

procrastination is but the child
born of this unhealthy war
that rages in my world
seeking to take my sanity

from looking deep within
one can see the hidden truths
changing forever the image
you see in the mirror each day

my journey must continue.

The Eightieth, Mar. 20, 2011

Procrastination is my companion
much to my personal annoyance
made powerful by my own fears
threatening to control my world

putting things off is the escape
avoiding the pressures of time
is only delaying the inevitable
amplifying all the discomforts

what fears fuel my hesitancy
and cause my destructive ways?
am I defective to feel like this?
can I find a way to fix myself?

I fear looking deep within me
afraid of what I will find there
seeing the flaws so glaring
revealing all my imperfections

but this monster in my closet
must be exposed and battled
for the sake of my tomorrows
and getting through today

inside I have found things
do I dare to explore them
to probe those depths within
and share them with others?

to overcome these obstacles
they must be fully revealed
lest something remain secret
true change blocked again

comfort zone abandoned
stepping out into the light
offering the me I find within
this is my own greatest fear

Deep breath and slow exhale
step across that invisible line
the time has come for me at last
to open up and share with others

I will start this adventure tomorrow.....