darkness rises from the west
as sunlight slowly fades
the chorus of the night begins
the song as old as time
mosquitoes are out for dinner
whining sings by the ear
crickets fill the quiet spaces
with a full choral cantata
a blacker dot in the dark sky
dodging at highest speed
the bat has joined the celebration
a banquet on the wing
from a tree the question asked
who? as owls so often do
then calls the whip-poor-will
answering with his name
evening slips into full night
handing over the mantle
day closes its tired eyes in sleep
the changing of the guard
There is a combination of beauty, gentle humor, and awkwardness in this poem. It's thoughtful, attempting to include classic fauna. In the end the combination does not flow as I want it to, but with a small reworking in the future, I know you would be able to adjust it (to suit my needs?...laughs)
ReplyDeletean example of beauty: Evening slips into full night
and example of gentle humor: the dialogue between the owl and whip-poor-will
and example of awkwardness: In the last stanza, you could take out "in sleep" and it still works
This poem describes the descent of the night very vividly. Nice!
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