The Three Hundred Sixty Fifth, December 31, 2011

and so ends the path
the last step is taken
no more going forward
a wall stands before me

one lone door closed fast
the only blemish to be seen
the rest a perfect infinity
left, right, up, down, always

standing alone with a door
wondering at the other side
what I will find beyond
knowing now that I can go

hand reaches slowly out
finding the cool of the knob
soothing the heat of expectation
contact provides point of focus

long deep breath in and out
shake out the tensions
turn the handle and push
the other side exposed at last

what vision greets me at last
after this long adventure
a vision of some better World?
no, simply my reflection in a mirror


And so we close out this year long project. It has been a great pleasure to know that you have shared it with me. I know that I have found out several things about myself, some good and some not so much. There were some laughs and a few tears shed during our time together... at least by me.

So now comes the time of evaluation - would I say this project achieved the desired objectives? On a personal level it has met and exceeded all my expectations. Truthfuly, I never was totally certain we would reach this point. There were several days I doubted I would be able to find inspiration to write. It was those moments that I gained my greatest gift, I learned to let go and ask for help, to step outside my box and share and let others be a part of the process. I could never have done it alone.

As promised, I am writing this while sailing on metal wings, high over the vast Pacific Ocean. It is dark outside. I struggle with the changing time and the question of sleep. Perhaps listening to Kevin Carmody in the headphones is helping me find a mood... perhaps not. Questions race in my mind: what will I do now? will I find a way to remain creative? and what will I do without this time with you?

Pride fills me as I realize that I have actually managed to completely fill the year. An even greater joy comes from knowing that many of you have been with me through the long and often strange trip and for that, I will always hold a special place in the core of my being with each of your names, to warm me when my soul grows cold. As for tomorrow, I do not know what it holds, but I do know this blog will remain as long as they let me.

This has been one of the most special times of my life.... I will miss it no matter whether I choose to add more pages and writings. Once again I want to thank each of you for coming along to play in my mind and I hope you found something to take away from all this as a gift... and maybe you even managed to think a little.

and so we say goodnight to 2011 and tuck it into the bed of history, close our eyes and boldly step out once more into the great unknown...

The Three Hundred Sixty Fourth, December 30, 2011

heavy is the heart
when separation courts
holding hands with loss
waltzing with sadness

I know this is true
this torment is mine
though not yet gone
already bearing a burden

anticipating emptiness
where now you reside
unable to recall in detail
what filled before you

alas comes the moment
with that last lingering taste
your essence has departed
I swim lost in my confusion

then a voice reaches out
shining hope into despair
its song irresistible siren's lure
"can I get you another beer?"

happiness fills my world...

The Three Hundred Sixty Third, December 29, 2011

tweedle dum and tweedle dee
were sitting on the hill
doing a lot of nothing much
as that sort often do

when one said to the other
it does not matter which
I wonder how our lives would be
if we were only rich

the other looked at him in shock
why do you wish to whine
what do we need vast wealth for
our lives are rather fine

the first replied with rolling eyes
you just don't understand
we could have a larger house
one that's very grand

the second looked around him
cleaning this one is a chore
why would we need a bigger one
that's cleaning even more

you do not see the picture though
think about the food
wines steaks lobster and caviar
now wouldn't that be good

I have enough to keep me fed
that is enough for me
I do not wish for more than that
why not let things be

with riches we could live like kings
servants caring for our needs
never worry about a thing at all
just live a life of ease

you would not worry at all I see
about things like theft
wonder where the money went
can you live upon what's left

I need nothing more than what I have
food and a roof over my head
clean clothes each day to wear as well
and at night a safe warm bed

I have all the wealth that I will need
I will not hope for more
but you can seek it all you wish
and I wish you luck for sure

so if you find yourself someday
wishing for vast fortune
think about the things you have
then whistle a happy tune

The Three Hundred Sixty Second, December 28, 2011

warm sun layers heat on the beach
like a house painter with a hangover
a cool morning grows into a hot day

the waves take no notice

people come and go through the day
picnics and surfing and just relaxing
enjoying a day on the sunny beach

the waves took no notice

I sit here and watch them all around me
the people the waves and the sun the sand
content for now to sit an observer only

the waves take no notice

through it all the sand remains calm
though the waves pound and feet kick
constantly distracted by everything

the waves take no notice

the sands do not care

The Three Hundred Sixty First, December 27, 2011

age is a figment of the imagination
you are as young as the one you feel
but it is wrong to seek out a young one
just to feel younger than you are

I feel my age today for the nth time
forgot how old I really was again
the vitality of youth pumps again
and like a fool I believed the voice

it felt good for a moment.. just one
the rush of the moment thrilled me
felt half my age again... for a moment
but all reciprocal in the final tally

feeling twice my age tonight
long day leading to longer night
slowly aches set into the joints
muscles tighten into tight knots

feeling every single minute of it
the exhilaration of the run
as long as the doctor doesn't hear
felt good to be the fool for a bit

have felt 50 for a while now
was nice to prove it all wrong
day after was not very bad
only as old as the one you feel....

The Three Hundred Sixtieth, December 26, 2011

drawing closer to the wall
see the path clearly now
the wall cuts across it
does the path end there?

a small door appears ahead
perhaps a way beyond
getting close enough now
can almost touch the wall

when I reach the stoop
decisions must be made
do I open the door then
or merely sit and reflect

only a few more steps
the journey nears the end
tired feet prod onward
soon..... very soon.... decisions

The Three Hundred Fifty Ninth, December 25, 2011

and so it came to pass
the world was wrapped
a gift to everyone of us
filled with peace and joy

it doesn't matter at all
who you are or were
where you are from
or where you are going

they say tis the season
I ask why limit ourselves
let this be the generation
for peace on Earth, good will to men

A very merry Christmas to all.

The Three Hundred Fifty Eighth, December 24, 2011

this is that wonderful
time of the year
when everyone's filled
with love and good cheer

smiles and greetings
to all that you see
generous sharing of joy
as the season should be

that parking spots mine
get out of my way
I still need to buy more
before Christmas day

I don't have the time now
to be decking the halls
must fight the crowds
in the shopping malls

I must do it bigger
buy presents galore
to make this grander
then ever before

and now I am broke
let the wrapping begin
a walking stress bomb
till the Valium sets in

at last Christmas morning
what did I get?
more stupid clothes
and colognes I will bet

santa seems to get
cheaper each year
don't tell me its the cost
of feeding reindeer

tear off the wrappings
just dropped on the floor
will pick them up later
its too much of a chore

gifts finally opened
to the table we go
over filling ourselves
making us slow

keep nibbling all day
in a continuous graze
wanting still more
as eyes slowly glaze

yes that is the meaning
of Christmas it seems
capitalism's triumph
in sugarplum dreams

is the irony lost
or do others see
the day has become
what its most not to be

celebrate the Savior's birth
with the seven deadly sins
 time to look inside
and see which side wins

The Three Hundred Fifty Seventh, December 23, 2011

give me a pinch
let me know its real
have dreams become real
or has real created new dreams

I have felt you inside my mind
so often I know every line
every single feature
familiar as home

never say never
never is only a myth
whispered hopes haunting
then eyes open and vision fills

the breath is the scent imagined
the soft caress is the warmth
the gentle smile is life
lost inside this now

you don't know me
no reason that you would
yet you have been my dream
and now you have become real

can I ever find a way to leave you
when even sleep makes me sad
to impatient for tomorrow
afraid you aren't real

I want to beg you
kneel down and plead
never make me suffer again
believing you are only illusion

I never want to doubt these days
feel you are only that dream
knowing I need more
need you as real

The Three Hundred Fifty Six, December 22, 2011

behold the land before us
as it lays in anticipation
awaiting my arrival
giving welcome

patchwork fields quilted
a tapestry of colors
shades in green
tanned hues

dark black lines stretching
straight to the horizon
all roads returning
stand at center

hear the earth voice whisper
see the beauty surround
smell the sweetness
feel the wonder

behold our home before us
we are charged to care
protect and defend
we only get one

The Three Hundred Fifty Fifth, December 21, 2011

Quiet thunder on a cloudy day

nothing uncommon about that

but the sky is very quiet today

the earth is rumbling instead

walk closer to the edge, boy

dare to dance upon the rim

no need to look down now

come and dance upon the rim

below resounds the thunder

gaze down to see the cause

waves breaking on the stone

savage destructive beauty

sit here on the edge, son

dare to look into my eyes

can you feel the power

as you look into my eyes

stalwart stone guardians

stand resolute in their duty

protection against the attack

defending land from sea

live upon the edge, child

feel thunder under your feet

know my total dedication

feel thunder under your feet

this battle will last forever

water slowly eroding stone

until at last stone falters

patience will win again

listen to the thunder, lad

feel me in your bones

wearing down the stones

feel me in your bones

The Three Hundred Fifty Fourth, December 20, 2011

I see you in my moves
echoes of your own
expressions matching
copied instinctively

there can be little doubt
we become what we see
tributes to our examples
passing on to our own

a great deal of what I am
came from my life with him
lessons from the knee
values ingrained in bone

impossible to be like him
would not be right to be
being true to who I am
reflects the values learned

I am what I am today
because of what I saw
shaped by what I heard
part of you lives in me

Happy birthday, Dad. I love you.

The Three Hundred Fifty Third, December 19, 2011

the other side of the world
seems like my back yard
yet some how different
everything has a feeling

scenes blend together
reality meets expectation
yet not quite either one
unable to comprehend

seeing is not the proof
listen close to the colors
smell the sounds of it
feel the chorus fill you

it either works for you
or it leaves you empty
there is no way to change
the first impression lasts

The Three Hundred Fifty Second, December 18, 2011

they say time flies
it certainly does
took off on Saturday
landed on Monday
writing on Sunday
all because I was flying!

The Three Hundred Fifty First, December 17, 2011

slowly close the drawer
curtain falls the act closes
long awaited conclusion
now the next chapter

begins in fading light
a new spot appearing
attention shifts stage left
adventure beckons onward

curtain rises instantly
stage preset awaits
actors to their places
the final act begins


closing a major part
motivation of my life
now on to the next
the long awaited reward

the journey not complete
merely crossing thresholds
climbing onward now
see the door before me

now decisions weigh heavy
considerations need applied
the greatest question looms
What do I want to be when I grow up?

The Three Hundred Fiftieth, December 16, 2011

frustration dances around me
tension refuses to let go
stress compounded by 10
the nightmare will not end

the walls are still standing
I am composure and calm
not letting anything upset
refuse to accept reality

or else I will bloody well scream

The Three Hundred Forty Ninth, December 15, 2011

it is not easy to do
not think about it
tried to put it away
shoved in a corner

didn't work so well
I still notice it there
la la la la la la la la
can't hear it calling

no time today for it
too much in the way
tomorrow maybe I can
for now, only a dream

The Three Hundred Forty Eighth, December 14, 2011

over the edge
frazzled nerves
tension rising
stress overload
too many people
all in my way
cramming aisles
blocking the way
season of shopping
bah humbug

The Three Hundred Forty Seventh, December 13, 2011

I remember the little things
those moments that last
bringing me smiles today
that I may have missed then

I remember lessons taught
some much slower learned
others known in an instant
not one not easily forgotten

despite what it seemed then
or through time between
all that matters is today
when at last I understand

I learned life is never easy
if you are truly living it
trouble will rise to meet you
shake its hand and send it on

I learned that hardships are
that life without them is dull
that each creates a chapter
in the book that is our life

I learned that poker is wrong
because a full house wins
when love holds the aces
and hearts are on the sleeve

I learned what we are not
the moments of our pasts
we are the moment of our now
be proud of our road here

I have learned many lessons
from cooking to laughing
and many more as well
and yes,  it is all your fault

Happy Birthday, Mom..... I love you too!

The Three Hundred Forty Sixth, December 12, 2011

heart beats faster
pulse beginning to pound
anxious thrill and fear
mixing in joyful sorrow

bitter sweet memmories
the past holds me now
caught within my words
exposed before the future

will there be an end to this
or will madness drive me
compulsion pushing forward
beyond the realm of reason

can this journey really end
having become my focus
the force that inspired me
so much of what I have become

is this a cloak that shields
comforting me on my road
shall I lay it aside at the end
or wear it, hiding within

such thoughts sit up with me
as sleep evades my mind
where will I look tomorrow
and what will I seek there

anxiety sadness and joy
holding hands upon the cliff
smile knowingly to one another
stepping off the edge as one